Not all days are created equal. We all have good days and bad days. Seasons where we are just killing it and other seasons that just aren't harvesting the best of luck.
For the past 4 weeks on and off I've been dealing with back pain, tightness, and excessive soreness. I've been beating myself up so hard internally for not being on my A game when it comes to exercise. Which I know is dumb, but being the type A, high performer I normally am; moments like this where I feel like I've lost control, motivation, and drive is challenging and in some ways debilitating. When you're known to be a strong example sometimes being weak and vulnerable can make one feel like they are falling apart.
A few posts back on Instagram I asked my fellow followers for some tips on how to prevent excessive tightness and everyone pretty much said YOGA. And so for the past 4 days I've been adding more yoga and stretching to my workout routine which has helped to improve my current physical state. But last night I just broke down, cried like a baby, told my husband all my frustrations, and covered myself under the blanket waiting for a new day.
The point of this post is, I'm not always the strong woman you look up to. I'm human. I cry. There are moments where I am weakened by my desire to fight against life telling me to slow down. I absolutely love what exercise does for me and the past 4 weeks where I've felt forced to take a step back has been mentally challenging to not feel like I was giving up on myself and I know I'm not; I just need to take a deep breath, reposition my mindset, and take it one day at a time. Because of this on and off state of exercise I know that my strength won't be where I left off and this is for sure going to be a big mind fuck. I'm already feeling a little lost, but deep inside I know that:
Thanks for listening. Today is a new day. Tomorrow is a new day. I'll get through this, I always do. But let me just sing a little song with Monica.