Does she have what you want?
Simple ways to escape the comparison trap
We've all said these phrases out loud or a quiet whisper in the back of our minds.
Not pretty enough.
Not cool enough.
Not disciplined enough.
Not passionate enough.
Not smart enough.
Not wealthy enough.
Not worthy enough.
Not accomplished enough.
Not attractive enough.
Not skinny enough.
Comparing ourselves against others is as a human as it is to breathe. And as much as I want to sit here and tell you I've never felt the jealousy emotion, I'd be lying. Jealousy is rarely spoken about because we're embarrassed to say that we envy someone else. And these days it just seems like there are more and more things to be jealous of one another especially since social media has given us a glimpse in the lives and journey of others. I wish I could tell you that I never get jealous, but let's get real here, we ALL experience it in some way shape or form. Whether its something you're experiencing in this present moment or have been envied, you know what its like to sit in the space of jealousy.
Here's some simple fixes you can implement right here and right now to escape the comparison trap.
Get out of their lane and get back into yours and write 3 things that you're grateful for. Gratitude is the simplest and quickest way back into the present moment. It helps bring focus back into the now and into your own life rather than allowing your thoughts to wander into someone else's.
Recognize your differences. Each person has different factors why they are able to do something, have something, or be something you might want. However its important to remember that just because you live a very similar life or have the same exact job as someone else, it doesn't mean you've walked the same exact path.
Avoid your triggers when possible. This one can be a little tricky, but if you're aware of what triggers that comparison trap its easy to shut the door before you let it in. There's a large amount of research out there that's already proving that social media can trigger depression in many people. So if scrolling through your IG feed and seeing everyone's progress photos triggers your green eyes then its time to start curating your feed. This happened to me the moment I decided to stop competing in NPC Bikini Competitions. Seeing other athletes on prep made it hard for me to accept my decision, so I started to unfollow those who were once my #fitspos.
Admit that you're jealous. I get that this may seem a little counter productive, but I've learned that admitting to your faults, feelings, and emotions means you're living your authentic truth. Once you're able to do so, you give yourself the power of choice. You can choose to invest in the emotion of envy or you can take some of these steps I've shared to begin to walk away from it. There's power in saying things out loud and like they say "the truth will set you free."
We're human. Emotions are human and one of them is jealousy. We may never be able to fully rid ourselves from this emotion, but we can definitely learn to cultivate a practice that helps us stay focused on our own progress and journey.