LOVE. How can a four letter word be so complicated? How does one thing that sounds so simple to understand turn into a complex language that has numerous layers just piled onto one another. Relationships are complicated. No two are the same.
Just like any thing and everything we’ve placed a label on what the “perfect” love looks like. We’ve created this idea that love is supposed to be happily ever after and forever and always. Movies and media have shown us examples of both good love and bad love. And because we’re so heavily influenced by what we consume, its easy to forget what love means for one’s self. After being married for 9 years and hearing so many different stories about love I’ve learned how to define my own version of love.
In our culture, many of us idealize love. We see it as the cure to solve all of life’s problems. And yes I agree to a certain degree, but we overestimate that this will truly solve it all.
Love is simply not enough. In order to thrive in a healthy relationship you have to understand that it requires more than just lofty ideals and pure emotion. Love, like your health and fitness goals require a deeper understanding of one’s values, intention, and respect from everyone involved in the relationship.
You can fall in love with a wide variety of people throughout the course of your life. You can fall in love with people who are good for you and people who are bad for you. You can fall in love in healthy ways and unhealthy ways. You can fall in love when you’re young and when you’re old. Love is not unique. Love is not special. Love is not scarce. - Mark Manson
A healthy relationship requires an understanding of one another’s values and having the mutual respect that your values may be slightly different than the other person’s and may change over time. After all you are two people in the world experiencing life through two different lenses. You’ll gain a different perspective in the world based on these experiences. Of course we always look for someone who can sweep us off our feet, it’s what we all idealize. But you also need to evaluate someone’s intentions, values, and the how the respect and treat themselves and others.
Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. But like any other experience, it can be unhealthy or healthy.
Also, join us over on instagram today under #therefinedcollective to see what everyone else has to say about love.