Somedays I feel like a broken record on Instagram when I illusively talk about the emotional state I'm in with regards to my upcoming move. I say things like "I'm feeling stressed out" or I apologize for the lack of my true online presence these days. The truth is I think what has happened in these past few weeks is the lack of acknowledgement of this situation being a really sucky one despite the AHMAZING situation we're moving into in the next few weeks.
Throughout my life, in some way, I've programed myself to be this really strong willed, independent, bold, unapologetic, wild woman who can handle anything life throws at her. After all, I think one of my greatest accomplishments in this lifetime was giving birth to a child at 21 years old when I was still trying to learn what it meant to be an adult. Somehow throughout the journey of wellness and rebuilding my inner strength, I've misplaced what it meant to feel broken when facing a tough situation. You see I've faced tough situations throughout most of my lifetime, from sexual abuse, to attempting suicide, depression, and parenting when I wasn't quite ready for it. Feeling tough is a part of my DNA, it's almost primal but learning to be soft and delicate is something I've only been exploring these past 5 years.
Feeling tough is a part of my DNA,
it's almost primal but learning to be soft and delicate is something I've only been exploring these past 5 years.
Anxiety is a state of unease, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of real or imagined threat. Having anxiety and a history of depression is an interesting thing. Although I don’t talk about it much as I have in the past it doesn’t mean that I’m not dealing with, I’ve just picked up many tools and techniques to help me overcome it day to day.
Here's a few things that have helped me in a state of anxiety:
ACKNOWLEDGE IT! Someone once told me that anxiety is just misplaced energy. When I heard that I started to learn how to objectify and identify my anxiety without getting to tangled up with emotions. Doing this totally help to separate my emotions from the apprehensive state my mind was in and the actions I needed to take moving forward.
TURN UP THE self-care ON FULL BLAST! The biggest lesson I've learned in womanhood is that you can't pour from an empty cup. Self-care has been the millennial obsession of 2017. You hear about it left and right and it seems like every other day there's a new self-care challenge on shared on the internet to encourage more of it. The thing about self care is that we've only started acknowledging the need for it the moment we lose that sense of self awareness of our basic needs in our mental, physical, and emotional health.
DUDE BREATHE! One of the causes of anxiety happens to be stress. (GO FIGURE!) And although you may not feel like you're in a state of stress, your body is fully aware of the environment its in and activates stress responses in order it to to try and bring your psychological and physical state into homeostasis. When that chaotic shit show starts to happen, I go somewhere quiet, close my eyes, and tune into my breath. Read this post for more tips on soft belly breathing.
VENT/TALK/RELEASE/DETOX! So many times when anxiety strikes we tend to turn inwards into our shells and keep ourselves locked tightly away from others and life outside. I get it, I've been there, and I've hated when people were around me when I wasn't my best state or feeling joyful and giving. What I've learned is that true friends want to be around you despite your messy shit. They want to love on you and give you that space to be unapologetic about your feelings and the state you're in. However if you're feeling like its too difficult for you to reach out to friends, there's professional help that you can seek too from either a therapist or life coach. I've spent years in therapy when I was young and I'm so grateful for the experience and value I gained from talking about my emotions.
KNOW THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS... I know its hard to see the end of the tunnel, but no matter how painful, confusing, or powerful this the anxiety attack, it'll come to an end. Nothing is forever and it's only a matter of time. The more you can remain calm, the better equipped your body will be to reset itself for a new day.
Moving can bring up so many emotions and mixed energies that have settled in a house throughout the years. In a conversation with a therapist friend of mine, she me mentioned something about the state that I was in was like an “emotional blender”. Let me tell you that term was the best way to describe it. As exciting as this new chapter is, I feel all the things. It’s like I’m tasting the rainbow and it’s a Skittles bag of mixed emotions. As parents, my husband and I have had to turn up our emotional antennas for our kids and be aware of their emotional state in this major life change as well. But I’m taking it one day at a time. Savoring each present moment and allowing myself to feel instead of ignoring it an sweeping it under the rug.
If you're dealing with anxiety or depression know that you're not alone.