The Steps to Self Discovery

Are you clear about you want in life?

What defines you?

What makes you happy?


Deep questions, I know, but If you don’t stop to reflect for a second, you may never truly know the answers to the questions about. When you avoid the process of self discovery, you are basically in denial of the real YOU. On the surface you may appear like your function but underneath it all are limiting beliefs and sabotaging thoughts that are holding you back. Maybe you haven’t faced these demons because they are still very much alive. You may not realize it but they are probably the reasons why you have never been truly happy or that you feel as if success is something you’ll never feel.

Self discovery is not an a one-day or a one-week affair. In fact, it can take a lifetime of building a relationship with yourself.

Here are some steps to start:

1. Face your fears and limiting beliefs. This is probably the hardest for most people but it’s the first thing that needs to be done to discover your most authentic self. It’s common to hide our emotions and feelings due to fear of judgement either by others or by one’s self. But as soon as you start to peel back layers you’ll be able to see the joy of knowing yourself more.

2. Pursue self love over everything else. Self love isn’t selfish, it’s a necessary act to discovering who you are. Discover your strengths and celebrate them. The more you focus on the positive areas of your self such as the things that light your soul on fire or talents that bring you joy, the lesser you focus on the negative. Find what makes your heart dance and your soul sing. These are the things that define you.

3. Clarify your values. Ooh this is a big one for me and typically one of the first assignments I give to my coaching clients. To me values are the cornerstone and foundation of what gives us purpose. They help to define our actions and behaviors and keep us aligned when we’re getting off track.

4. Spend time alone. This is the hardest for people because these days were never truly alone. The ability to stay connected is far too accessible and sometimes being alone brings on a sense of abandonment. But just like any relationship, quality time is essential and in order to build a stronger relationships with your self you’ve gotta to spend some time alone with yourself.

For some this might mean getting away regularly even if it’s for a day, but if you don’t have the ability to do that then a simple 5 minute block scheduled in your day can help you tap back into that sense of self.

The more you know yourself the more empowered you’re going to be. So maybe his weekend you take the time to simply sit and take yourself on a much needed date. 

How Self-Gratitude can boost your confidence

We’re now in that time of the year where we’re thinking about all the people and the reasons we’re grateful for the lives we have. Gratitude is one form of emotion I have no problem expressing to others and I’m pretty sure we share the same perspective on this, but can I ask you something? When is the last time you said ‘THANK YOU’ to yourself? When is the last time you honored yourself for the hard work you’ve put into the life you’ve created?


Life is filled with choices: good ones, bad ones. And while the people in your life probably make your life worthwhile, you’re still the one responsible for making the changes, the decisions, the sacrifices, and the successes for the life you have cultivated. Give yourself some well deserved credit, maybe a standing ovation even because YOU DESERVE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT! Each and every single day you make a choice to show up, to put in the effort, to work hard towards your dreams. You make the choice to change your life, to be better every single damn day, and to dig deep on those days that you want to give up.

Life is filled with choices: good ones, bad ones. And while the people in your life probably make your life worthwhile, you’re still the one responsible for making the changes, the decisions, the sacrifices, and the successes for the life you have cultivated.

I’ve seen dark days. I know what it feels like to be depressed; to not want to live, to give up on life, to lose hope, and not see the light. Just remember you’re in a lifelong relationship with yourself. There’s a little “me” inside of you that will be there to weather the storm with you, overcome the hardships, and help you create the healthy, fulfilled, and loving life that you desire. That little “me” inside you will be there during your heartaches, moments of sadness, moments of pain, and that person will never leave your side. While its easier to express gratitude to others, you cannot forget the most important person in your life, YOU.

Expressing self-gratitude is just one of the ways to boost your self-confidence. A practice of self-gratitude allows you to acknowledge even the smallest efforts you've made to improve your life. At first, it might feel a little weird. But over time you'll begin to recognize how awesome you are and the things others see in you. 

You can focus on being grateful to yourself for:

  1. Making it through a tough workout.
  2. Showing kindness to others
  3. Showing kindness to yourself 
  4. Your determination and work ethic
  5. A body part you love
  6. The lesson learned in a struggle
  7. Your recent accomplishments
  8. Making it through the day 
  9. Showing up for life
  10. Cooking a healthy meal for yourself

Anxiety and depression can make it hard to see ways to express self-gratitude. So here are some simple ideas that can help open your mindset to it: 

  • What are you planning for yourself in the future? Can you be grateful to yourself for your hopes, goals, and dreams?
  • Are there things in your past that make you feel good about yourself?
  • What was the one thing in your day that wanted to accomplish?

Do you have a self-gratitude practice and if so, what is it?