advice column

JUST ASK JO: How Do I Balance Blogging and Family Life

QUESTION: 

First, Ive been following you for awhile—I absolutely love your mission and passion you have for what you do and how much love you have for your family. Truly inspiring!

Secondly, I am a new mama and have recently started blogging, but I am having such trouble keeping my motivation to work on it (mostly because of being so focused on my sweet baby). I was wondering if you had any advice on balancing your work and family life, and how to stay motivated? 

Much love and thanks, 
Kenzie 

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ANSWER:

The ever so elusive question of balancing work and family life. First off, congrats on your blog. I know the excitement it feels to start jotting down thoughts, writing, and creating content that comes from the heart. It’s overwhelming at times especially when it begins to feel like you’re just standing in a dust storm trying to make sense of it all. Balance can feel like the same thing which is why I believe in harmony and taking things one day at a time.

The focus and motivation to work on my blog, create content, and to write ebb and flow. It’s probably one of the largest struggles that bloggers rarely talk about. If you’re like me than writing is a form of therapy and can almost be cathartic. Sometimes in your own writing you get overwhelmed add that with family life it’s a perfect cocktail for chaos.

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So here are some tangible things you can do to help balance out work/family life:

Create a schedule that works for you

If you’re freelancing, work for yourself, or have the flexibility to work from home at your 9-5 make sure to create a schedule that works for you, your work, and your family. Since working for myself I’ve adopted a 10AM - 6PM work day on most days and I love it!


My ideal day typically looks like this:

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  • 6:00AM - wake up

  • 6:30AM - go to the gym

  • 8:00AM - get back home. Hubs takes kids to school (Jonathan took on the role of stay-at-home dad when he went full time with his photography business over 8 years ago. So a lot of the drop off/pick up routines are still managed by him)

  • 9:00AM - breakfast/catch up with the hubs on the day

  • 9:30/10:00AM - start my work day

  • 12:00PM - lunch AWAY FROM MY DESK!

  • 6:00PM - dinner time

  • 7:00PM - unplugged hang time with the fam. This is so important to us and something we do our best to uphold.

  • 10:00PMish - bedtime and rinse and repeat

Set boundaries!!!

I cannot stress how important creating boundaries are for work/life balance. Boundaries are not walls. Boundaries are doors and you have the option and choice to open those doors whenever you want/need to in order to adjust to life’s constant changes. For me, boundaries aren’t actually put into place for the family, they are actually in place because I tend to be a work-a-holic and this helps me to keep my harmony while juggling both work and family.

One boundary that is pretty strict for me is the amount of time I spend working. I try really hard not to put in more than 30-35 hours a week of active work time. As a blogger/social media influencer I often get invited to social gatherings and that’s all part of the role of marketing. I also roll that time up into my work week so I don’t feel like I’m a complete slave to my work.

The other boundary that’s relatively firm is the day(s) I take coaching sessions with clients. Typically those days are Tuesday and Thursday and it really works well for me to keep that consistent.

The not so tangible…

Creative Motivation

The motivation needed to focus on work can be really difficult when you have young kids and all you want to do is hang with the babes. Listen to your instincts! If right now your focus is on your sweet baby then let it be. They are only little for a small period of time. But if you’re really looking to find motivation to write and work on your blog then maybe blocking out time to focus on two days of blogging/writing is what might work best.

Motivation can both be found external and internal. External motivation is when someone behaves in a way that is outside of that person. It often comes from parents, boss, coworkers, family, and salary or promotion (advancement). Internal motivation engages in a behavior that is personally motivating. Identifying which motivation is fueling your desire to work on your blog could be the first step to breaking out of this work slump you’re experiencing.

Celebrate the small wins!

Once you’ve broken out that slump, make sure to celebrate you. This helps create positive reinforcement to the steps you’re making towards your blogging/work goals. Celebrate even if the step happens to be opening your laptop, writing a few words, and closing it 20 minutes later. Celebrate the small wins, this applies to every area of your life.

Give yourself grace

This by far is my most important tip on regaining motivation in any area of life. Discipline gets you started on the journey, grace and self love keeps you going. Life is going to get messy and motivation, creativity, and the desire to pour into your hustle will ebb and flow. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Each area in life has a season and just like seasons they come and go.

Hope this helps!



JUST ASK JO: How are your photos so perfect!?

This week's JUST ASK JO is another one on photography and it's short and sweet. I've shared some technical knowledge on photography in my first blog post on the Basics of Photography, Then on the second JUST ASK JO post I went a little more in-depth on equipment and gear. This one we'll talk a little bit more about visual creativity and where I draw my inspiration from.

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Question:

Hey Jo!

How are your photos so perfect?

- Nina


I'm flattered you think my photography work is perfect because like most artists and creators I'm really hard on myself. Along with having a strong understanding of lighting, composition, and the type of camera I'm using; I'm always looking for ways to improve my work and train my eye to see things differently.

I once read in a book, “Don’t look. See!” At first, I didn't get what that meant, but the more I kept repeating it in my mind when I was out and about I started to "see". I've always had a love for street photography. To me when I see it, it's life in the moment nothing that's overly curated or posed. It's truly a stolen moment in time. When I shoot weddings and couples this is how I approach my subjects.  

“Don’t look. See!”
— Henry Carroll

I've been a professional wedding photographer for over 9 years now. As a wedding photographer, I'm constantly shooting with different lighting scenarios and have that extra pressure of not being able to recreate a shot or moment again because a wedding day is just one day out of their lifetime. Since I'm not huge on using flash or artificial light I really have to rely on how natural light affects what I'm photographing. 

Light is your subject

One other thing is to learn to see light as your subject and observe it frequently! Look at how light affects the space around you and the objects around you. Notice how it draws out certain textures, colors, and detail. Does it attract you to look at a specific point on the subject or scene? You've got to start looking at light the way you look at life, you've got to take it all in.  Below are some lighting examples.

The photos below are all taken by me unless mentioned otherwise. You can see more on my VSCO.

Hard Light

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Hard light is probably my favorite light to shoot. I love the contrast between the light and the darkness. It's dramatic, a little unforgiving, and exposes all. It creates depth and packs an intense punch.

Soft Light

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Soft light is more even and can still cast a shadow like hard light, but is not as intense because the light is coming from multiple directions. It's one of my favorite lighting scenarios to photograph portraits and food because it still provides a little bit of depth, but you have the ability to still see the things that are in the shadows. The eye naturally travels through the entire photograph rather than in hard light it might only travel where the light wants you to travel. In soft light, you view the whole story rather than bits and pieces.

Learn to see light as your subject and observe it frequently!

One thing to note is that soft light can be flat which means that there are no shadows or highlights to create depth in an image leaving the photography to feel very matter of fact. Compare the two below and see if you can notice which one looks and feels flat while one makes your eye travel throughout the photograph?

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My favorite soft light to photograph in would be most commonly known as open shade. Open shade is found in an area that is shaded from direct sunlight but is not falling directly on your subject. The light is typically reflecting onto your subject.  Some photographers emulate this by using a lighting device called a softbox, but you can also do this by using window light

Here's an experiment: place your subject at different angles to the light. Notice how the shadows change, giving your subject a different feeling.

There are plenty of other lighting scenarios and each photographer might call it a different name, but keeping it simple allows you to be open to learning how to play with it as you see it. Be aware of how natural light changes throughout the day. Just like my nutrition philosophy on not labeling food good or bad, I do the same with light. A lot of photographers and creators get stuck in thinking that the best light is golden-hour and although its an absolutely stunning light to shoot in, you can limit your creativity by only wanting to shoot during this time of the day. 

Photo composition tip: Get close. Then get closer. 

When taking photos I always think of the story the subject in the photo is telling. Even inanimate objects tell a story. So here's what I mean. 

1. take a photo of the entire scene

1. take a photo of the entire scene

2. then get close

2. then get close

3. then get closer

3. then get closer

4. even closer.

4. even closer.

When you start to see things in this manner you can begin to create a better story with what your eye is trying to convey. If you're ever with me when I'm shooting something, you'll hear me say things like "We need to give it some life." In other words, give it a story to tell. You can do this by stepping in and getting more intimate with your subject, even inanimate ones. 

Photographers rarely nail the shot the first time. So give yourself time to learn. Practice practice practice

Where I find photography inspiration?

Pinterest and VSCO are two places I pull a lot of visual inspiration from. Many people don't know but VSCO has an extension in their app where you can explore images from other VSCO community members. I have always found the images on there a whole lot more thought-provoking than the ones I discover in my Instagram explore feed. I spend a lot of time people watching when I'm out and about. Doing that helps me see what people do naturally and how they interact with one another. It also helps that I'm a wedding photographer.

Oddly enough my inspiration for portraits is typically from old black and white war photography. To me the images are raw, they speak volumes of truth and emotion. When I photograph people, I try to capture the feeling they have inside, freeze the moments in time, and give them a moment in their life to go back to.

A tip I got from my friend Elana was to create a visual mood board of inspiration. You can use Pinterest or Instagram and bookmark things to a saved collection. Start adding photographs and visual media that speak to you on these boards. This will help you begin to understand what your eye really loves to see and what speaks to you. 

I've been loving this JUST ASK JO series on my blog. So keep the questions coming. I hope these have been extremely helpful to you! 

JUST ASK JO: My Partner and I keep fighting over the same things over and over again. How do I get us past this?

Image Credit  here

Image Credit here

Question:

Hey Jo!

I feel like my partner and I have the same fights over and over who does more of what who’s doing less of what. And of course silent treatment. How do I get us past this?

Thanks, 

Tracy


Answer: 

Hey Tracy,

I know the feeling all too well. My husband and I went through almost 2 years of arguing over the things over and over again. It was exhausting! So please know that you're not alone and not the only one who's gone through this. The repetitive arguing lead us to seek out a marriage counselor, which helped to draw out the things we were missing from one another: quality time, quality conversations. After 6 months of what felt like we were just running in the same circles of blame, we finally confronted our shit

The first step in getting past the recycled arguments is to look at the behavior (or reaction) that happens when you get into a fight. Is there a repetitive pattern or recycled behavior that happens immediately after? We all tend to be reactionary when we get hurt. It's a natural human behavior that happens in order to protect our emotions or feelings from digging deeper into that pain.

The second step is to switch from reaction to reflection. Reflection allows us to take a step back from the disagreement and to look at it from a distance with a different perspective. For example, if your fight is over the housework not being done the reaction to the argument will typically result in negative assumptions about the other person's intent ("they are too lazy to care about me...they don't appreciate what I do").  But if you can switch your mind towards reflection you might be able to see things like "maybe they had a bad day at work or they are probably tired and exhausting day".

One of the things that I've come to realize is that at the end of the day Jonathan really cares about me, he doesn't mean to piss me off or hurt me even when we argue. The moment I started to switch my heart from reacting from a place of hurt to reflecting from a place of love I was able to better approach the arguments to find a resolution. 

If this is a relationship you want to keep, hang in there. Love will always find a way.

Sincerely,

Jo

JUST ASK JO: Do you prefer hard or soft tacos?

JUST ASK JO: What type of camera do you use? Which one should I get for travel and blogging?

JUST ASK JO: What type of camera do you use? Which one should I get for travel and blogging?

This week's JUST ASK JO is all about photography, my first passion and I'm so excited to get into it with you all. Photography was an art form I fell in love with when I was 15. It was the one thing that helped me express my heart, my thoughts, and ultimately helped me understand my depression and mental illness a little more.  A few weeks ago I offered to answer questions on my Instagram about photography and here's what you asked. Continue below to read more about the cameras, lenses, and gear I recommend for beginners, bloggers, and traveling.